I know. If I were you, I would be skeptical now too. You’re asking yourself, can there really be a surefire way to stop a fight with a teen? I swear to you, there is. However, you will feel cheated when I tell you the answer … leave! Get out of there. Go put yourself in timeout. When the argument is getting ugly enough, you need a timeout. Heck, you deserve a timeout.
One of the biggest mistakes parents can make with teens is to try to solve the problem right now. I mean now! I am telling you, the results will be a thousand times better, if you can just take a break and let the emotions die down a little. As human beings, when we get emotional, we also often get very irrational. It is at these times that we become very invested in our position, and feel we must prove it to our opponent. And, when I say, “opponent,” I mean “opponent.” This is because an opponent is exactly what the other person has just become to us. When you begin talking to an opponent, the battle is already lost because you have just begun damaging the relationship.
Instead, just go take a breather. If you are doing it right, you might even get out of the house. Go for a walk, or take a drive, or even zip out shopping spree! Just get away and don’t get caught up in a back and forth argument where no one is listening anymore.
On a side note, it is always good if you can leave for your timeout gracefully. This can be done by simply saying, “Johnny, I know this is an important topic. But, right now, I am feeling myself getting way too angry to talk about it rationally. So, I am going to put myself in time-out. Let’s talk about this again tonight at dinner, after I have had a chance to calm down and treat you with respect.”
Check back later to find out why each part of this gracefully leaving statement is important to get right.
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