One of the struggles in helping teens make a change in their life is that parents and teens often find themselves on opposite sides of the fence. One of the areas where this difference in positions arises is when it comes to substance use. Usually, the parent wants their child to make a plan for how the teen will handle substance use in the future. So far, the teen is completely on board. If the teen has turned a corner in recovery and is ready to again be sober, the teen will usually be more than willing to come up with a game plan so as not to get involved with substance use again. However, the discrepancy in opinion comes in the actual game plan itself. After treatment (usually involving lots of heartache, money, and time), parents are hoping their child will make plans to never ever be involved with substances or anything even remotely like it ever ever ever again. It is as if the parent has had someone have an affair on them, and the hurt is so bad, they do not ever want to face it again. The teen, on the other hand, is looking into the crystal ball of the future and is thinking they would not like to completely close the door on a "normal" life. To the teen, a “normal life” includes the option to partake in substances on a casual level. This is especially the case when it comes to legal and culturally accepted substance use.
Depending on the culture, "culturally substance use" usually includes alcohol and cigarette consumption. Unfortunately, acceptable substance use is also increasingly meaning marijuana use. So what is a parent to do? The answer is somewhat simple. You have time! Thankfully, your child is committing to a substance free life for now. You will have plenty of opportunities to discuss later substance use when “later” comes along. Until then, for heaven’s sake, don’t focus on negative possibilities when you can strengthen your relationship with your teen by reinforcing the positive decisions involved in the hard work of being sober right here and now.
No comments:
Post a Comment