The next part of the "leaving gracefully" statement was, "I am finding myself getting way to angry to talk about this rationally." This part of the statement is very important for a couple of reasons. First, the parent is identifying their emotions to the teen. This is setting a very powerful example that it is ok to talk about emotions openly in this family. Teens need to know that parents will be able to hear and hold the teen's emotions, or else they will not express them to the parents. If a teen does not see mom or dad express emotions, they will learn that it must not be ok to express emotions to mom and dad. If they think they can not express emotions to mom and dad, they learn that they can not talk to mom and dad about anything of worth. Just keep topics safe and surface level!
The second reason this statement is important is that it acknowledges that when we are angry we are irrational. This is a great reminder to ourselves and the teen that talking when we are angry never works. How could it work? If you are not rational, your conversations will not even make sense, let alone solve a problem. You definitely want your teen to learn as soon as possible that saying things in anger usually ends badly. There is no better way to get them that message than by you talking about it and owning it in yourself often.
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